There is a general narrative about inceldom that goes like this:
“”Pre-civilization was this violent, ugly, gross polyamorous mess where few men reproduced and there were a lot of incels, civilization and monogamy cured this. Thus, nature is incel-promoting, we must move far away from it.
Are we naturally incel-promoting?
However the results aren't universal, for example, East Asian DNA showed more men probably reproduced than women, an enormous plot of land now reserved mostly to China. So surely, with the presence of exceptions, there must also exist conditions for which we are not an incel-promoting species, naturally.
In other words, humans behave in context to their environment and external pressures, which cannot be removed in a vacuum. To reduce inceldom, looking at it from an evo psych perspective, one must also look at the fact that humans are capable of cooperating naturally.
Polyandry in pre-civilization
One can start by looking at the variations of existing traditional societies, ones that have existed for thousands of years and were studied before civilizational integration. Most of them appear polygynous and brutish, however some are not. Some, like traditional Tibetan (East Asia, what a coincidence) societies, are polyandrous and peaceful. The Native American Pawnee were also polyandrous and peaceful for example.
Now it seems almost impossible that a society could be 100% polygynous and peaceful. I agree with traditionalists about this. The only thing that could make polygynous societies not have many incels would be cucking, and still it's not likely that would end up being peaceful. For example, Nigeria appears to be both high in polygyny and cucking and low in inceldom, but also high in violence,
What exactly is so great about most monogamous structures?
As far as the last part of initial claim this essay is in response to, that monogamy has shown itself to be a solution... It's hard to identify any monogamous communities that have had few incels without rather oppressive parental involvement as well as marital rape. In fact, the evidence is fairly clear that without wife-swapping, monogamy historically promotes inceldom, as either fathers or Lords cock-block men they don't like. But lets forget about that for a second and just assume it's possible to have low inceldom in monogamy without wife swapping. I've had it relayed to me that marital rape is not real, however, if someone wants to leave a relationship and can't, and is being subject to external pressure to have sex, in my mind that is rape. And... I don't want to be raped, and so I see no reason why most women should be comfortable with it, even if they fantasize about it all the time.
There is a way to make monogamy less brutish, namely wife-swapping. I don't mean sharing a wife for a night, I mean actually and fully swapping wives 1:1 when the current relationship is not working, but society is enforcing relationships. I don't care whether this is technically cucking or not, it clearly can work as it has worked for the Native American Lakota Sioux at least 10 thousand years.
Pre-civilization was probably mostly ugly, violent, and messy. But we can learn from the situations in pre-civlization in which it was not that way, namely long-term polyandry or 1:1 wife-swapping within monogamy.
- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3002115/ see marriage rates even after the war among young men