A male lesbian is a genderqueer biomale who has always and will always want to make love as most lesbians do rather than how most heterosexual males do. They have never fantasized about penetrative sex while masturbating, have always preferred female sex roles to male sex roles, have never liked male sex roles on the whole, and if they end up in relationships, they tend to not be able to date hetero women honestly.
Like transsexuals, they may not value their masculine body, but unlike transsexuals, they do not experience gender dysphoria. Their sexuality is more of a gaze rather than an action, as they are typically love-shy and thus incel.
Proper pronouns include ze/zem.
Male lesbian vs. transsexual
A few incels have publicly expressed that they think they are male lesbians, but are instead expressing transsexualism. Male lesbians do not want to crossdress or transition. The self-proclaimed, "male lesbian", and comedian Eddie Izzard eg is not a male lesbian, he is a crossdresser who is closer to a transsexual. As a forum user endplusone explains:
"A male lesbian accepts and favours their effeminate quality of themselves but still recognize and do not want to change their physical bodies, and continue to be attracted to the "opposite gender". How do I say this... like having a woman's "spirit" but a man's physicality... and are happy with both, even if it seems to cause a tension to those who don't understand. Feminine men or men who enjoy a feminine side of themselves, who are attracted to women. It does sound like MtF, but perhaps it's just part of a spectrum. They still define their gender identity according to their physical bodies and in that way it is not so much about what they want to become, but they associate [more] with feminine behaviour, roles, and so on."
Various 19th century French authors showed male lesbian tendencies, such as Jules Michelet. As shown through Michelet's writing, male lesbianism lacks penetrative fantasies, instead opting for adhesive fantasies. This likely applies to most male lesbians.
Furthermore Michelet showed the male lesbian can be chivalrous, gynocentric, and superficial. While otherwise shy or even love avoidant, for the male lesbian, sex is about clinging to a woman. Figuratively covering a woman to the point of rendering her featureless.
According to Brian Gilmartin, the male lesbian, from an early age:
- does not want to play with males
- does not want to crossdress or transition
- does not naturally appreciate traditional gender roles
- does not want to make love to or experience sex with males
- does not have male recreational interests, and
- does not even want to procreate male children.
A male lesbian may only end up in relationships with bio-female bisexuals/pansexuals/etc who are able to appreciate both their male body and non-masculine mind.
Early friendships and early rejection
A male lesbian often has mostly female friends rather than male friends during their very early years. As the male lesbian grows up, he does not have status among men due to not engaging with them, and this causes women who start thinking romantically, to reject the male due to his low status among men.
Some have attacked the reality of male lesbians by claiming that it is not unusual as most men are attracted to lesbians and most men consume lesbian pornography. Male lesbianism is criticised by some as a hyper-fetishization of lesbianism. However, such criticisms ususally ignore that the male lesbian is trying to point out that he is not just attracted to lesbians, but also is mentally non-masculine, and rarely, if ever, fantasize about penetrating a woman.
Others try to say that the term "male lesbian" is contradictory, as by usual definition, a lesbian is a biofemale. However, the term 'male lesbian' is not supposed to have medical linguistic power. It is describing a mental state.